"If I must shatter, then please let it be in your arms,"
most amazing quotes on my blog♡
Home made batternburg cake with a twist, and it tastes soooo good
You won’t lose me, not ever, and it finally stopped bleeding this morning so I’m all okay :) xx
So I cut a few days ago, and decided that that wasn’t good enough and cut a lot worse last night and every time I take off my makeshift bandage it bleeds still really bad. Think I’ve hit something.
This is going to be so hard to explain considering I had a CPA today and told a bunch of people that I haven’t self harmed since being here. That wasn’t my best move now was it. Sighhhhh.
It’s hard to put a time frame on these things, but I have at least one a week, sometimes staff find me, sometimes they don’t (which is how I like it) xx
I got funding by the pct (private care trust) it’s part of the Nhs. But it is very very hard to get funding and it’s not a simple process, but I don’t know how you could go about going to a private hospital if your not an inpatient to begin with, that’s how it works, you exhaust all the Nhs have to offer and when that don’t work then you get the funding to go somewhere specialised. Probably not the answer you were looking for, but if you ever need me you know where I’ll be
no idea, but i don’t plan on finding out, i’ve hid it all my life so i won’t be showing the people here either xx
No, i’m allowed everything which is a shock to the system! Its hard being around so many things that i wasn’t allowed a week ago, but i will get used to it i am sure. And i have no idea if they do room searches! They better not do, i hate them!! xxx
Oh i’m sorry honey, yes i know the feeling well and its one of the worst. Feel free to come off anon and then we can chat a little if you like? Try and ground yourself to stop the flashbacks from coming xxx
2. Being trapped
3. Spaghetti bolognaise
4. something bad happening to my family
5. being abandoned
(this was so hard seeing as i have so many fears!)
yes, i can’t speak, i can’t move freely, and i can’t hold someones gaze. I am known to go catonic, which is basically that if you lifted my arm when i was dissociating, i wouldn’t let it drop, my arm would stay there up in the air until somebody forced it back down. I either constantly blink or i don’t blink at all. However, I have dissociation very severely, and i don’t think my experiences will be the same as others. As far as i’m aware you can dissociate but still do every day tasks and no, people won’t necessarily notice.
Hope this helped some? xxx
That doesn’t sound wierd, infact it’s incredibly sweet of you? And I get comfort from you checking to see if I’m okay, I don’t get that a lot (from people who aren’t paid) so thankyou xxx